if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
