hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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