i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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