he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
