my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You've changed since you got that strap on
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
