Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I have so many feelings about this burrito
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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