I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize