I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
