It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
