Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
