I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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