I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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