Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
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