I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
