Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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