She's JV to your varsity
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
