apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
