People in love make me want to vomit
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
