what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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