Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
