I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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