508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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