if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
