Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
