Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
