Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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