Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize