do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
