Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
