I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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