420 ftw
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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