I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
