What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
