My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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