I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
