so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize