My friends, they love my intelligence
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
