My sheets look like a crime scene.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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