Define "chronic" masturbator.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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