how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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