This gyro tastes like lonliness
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize