I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
