Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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