So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
