loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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