Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
