Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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