So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
