OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
