dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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