nut hugger
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
