i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
