I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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