We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
