Moan for me like Helen Keller
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
