We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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