woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
