if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
My vagina just recognized that song.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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