you have to choose: penises or morals?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
