Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
