the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
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