What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
