Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
