I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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