i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
