a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Randomize
