To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
