So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
