you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
